I'm here... honestly.

I know, I've been missing, only for a short while.  To be honest I feel like I'm in a bit of a slump, well okay miserable is probably a better word.  Those close to me know that I've been having some issues at work, the kind of thing where you've been there a while, new managers come in, make an opinion about you, and you then have to work your butt off to prove them wrong.  I'm not great at that kind of stuff, I tend to take things personally and let my confidence get knocked. There's a newer generation around that tend to be better at shouting 'look at me', 'look what I've done' - I don't suppose I'll ever be quite like that but I'm going to give it a go.

Added to that my, albeit relatively minor, health issues, I feel a bit lost.  So I've got a plan.  It starts at home, because this is where I need my foundation to be strong.  I thrive on routine, organisation and creativity.  Oddly the last one on that list doesn't always go together well with the first two, but that's me.

I need to be organised at home.  Meals planned and shopped for.  A cleaning routine that keeps me on top of everything.  All laundry done, no piles of ironing lying around.  For the most part I manage this.  A few years ago I paid a few dollars for a cleaning routine from Motivated Moms.  It was a printable PDF (I see now they even have a phone app) which listed what things I needed to get done each day.  I know for some of you that sounds crazy/awful/anal/any of the above, but for me it was great.  I stopped doing it for a year but I started it again this year and I must say it really is helping.  I have this crazy in-built thing that I cannot allow myself to 'play' unless my chores are done.

I am planning to involve the boys more... all 3 of them ;-)  Jake and Todd often have jobs to do but there's no regular list or planning and I often find I'm doing things myself just because it's quicker or I know I'll do a better job.  I end up feeling angry yet I haven't asked for help so that's not fair to anyone.  The boys leave stuff everywhere, they have no sense of respect for their things, there's no restriction on x-box/ipad/tv time - I feel this needs to change.  I know that if when I put a system in place, Todd will love it... Jake not so much.

Creating - where to start... I know I miss it but when I sit down to do anything I get frustrated because nothing is flowing right now.  You've probably noticed that there's not been a mention of a craft fair or vintage sale in a while.  That's because Mum and I have decided not to do any more.  I suppose I should say 'never say never', but for now there's no more.  We put so much hard work and effort into them and the last few weren't as profitable as some were previously.  Not that we went into them to make our fortune, but a little would be nice.  I feel the whole economic climate has hit every type of business large or small.  So by not having any upcoming fairs I have no deadlines to produce something by, no purpose for producing things.

I need to start small with something for me - I miss scrapbooking but perhaps I will try the Project Life route.  Have you seen it at all?  Here's a link to Becky Higgins website - she got the whole Project Life concept going but so many manufacturers are jumping on the band-wagon now.  A simpler way to capture our families stories - I feel my heart pound when I think of how fast time is passing with our boys and the stories that I am missing.  My funds won't allow me to purchase one of Becky's lovely kits, but there's nothing stopping me putting my own together.

Spending time with a good friend Friday reminded me that I need that too.  Time with friends, time with people that know me and love me anyway.  I must do that more often.

Sorry for the brain dump.  I needed to share.  There's much to do and even typing this has given me that feeling you get each new year when you want to make changes.  I know my sister is a great believer in getting yourself up on your feet, shaking yourself off and moving forward - no-one else is going to do that for you.

P.S.  So as not to send you to sleep through this post, I added in some photos of yours truly - I hope you liked them ;-)